On Hiatus

I promise, I'll TRY to update soon. This story used to be a pure vent, used to write about killing people when I feel like it.

But for now it's on hiatus.

DORAEMON

Something very, very dangerous if used well... Something sharp...

It was...

A book?

Why sharp? ...Hasn't anyone ever gotten a paper cut around here?

Why dangerous?

Well.

A book, especially when written by one's favorite author, can be very influential to the mind.

DORAEMON, the boy obsessed with... well, Doraemon, his favorite book was... Um. Doraemon volume 1? That was the original and best volume, in his opinion, and the Smart Girl was holding the FIRST EDITION!

DORAEMON freaked out, running around the room, screaming his little blue robot cat head off.

He stopped, wheeled around to face the Smart Girl, and slowly took a step forward.

Another step. Oh my God oh my God

Another. Holy shit holy shit

And another. Dear Lord dear Lord

And another, and he was about to touch it. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

He touched the spine. Aaaaaaaaaaahhh... I've waited my entire life for this...

His other hand touched it. It's a heart's desire fulfilled...

He took it in his hands. I can die now, as a happy robot cat...

 And it exploded. WTF????

The robot cat was on the floor, twitching as the last circuit of electricity ran through his headless body, and he lay still.

He was dead, and from his severed neck spilled electric sparks, wires, circuit boards, and grossest of all, a dead cat, complete with bluish frizzled fur.

The class reacted again. 

Some laughed, some cried, some poked the body, some hugged themselves, some screamed, some fainted, some fell asleep, some blinked, some stared blankly, some stared coldly, some stared stunned, some kicked the body, some just had no reaction at all (aka the Smart Girl), some - 

I guess there were only 13 of them.

The class was silent.

The person dressed in black scuttled in again, dragging away the body, getting electrocuted once along the way.

The class almost settled down, chills running up and down their backs. They were quite dumb, and didn't suspect the Smart Girl at all.

Unlucky for them, because the Smart Girl was about to kill someone else.

She pulled something else out from under her desk.

Something sharp... Something made of the hardest material in the world...

It was...

The Horse Freak

A big, metal, object... Something very, very dangerous if used well... It was...

A cell phone.

Why big? Well, it wasn't PARTICULARLY big, but it was big for cell phone standards.

And the big question: How exactly could a cell phone be very, very dangerous?

Well.

It could be dangerous for some people's health, eg, the Smart Girl's friend, the Horse Freak.

The Horse Freak also went by another name, and that was "The President of Love Service Ltd." She didn't own a cell phone because people were constantly calling her Love Service to find out who everyone liked.

A few months ago, she had suffered a mental breakdown when 714 people, 714 people called her at the same time. She talked to them all through the mighty Cell Phone of Love, which projected a hologram of a big screen which depicted all of the customers, crying, laughing, and most of all, very very curious as to who so-and-so liked and why so-and-so didn't like them anymore and whatever happened to make so-and-so break up with so-and-so.

She broke down while trying to answer them all at the same time, and the 714 people had to cease their questions for a bit to call 911.

The Smart Girl was holding the ex-Cell Phone of Love, as it was now called the Cell Phone of Doom, and pressed a button on it. The Horse Freak saw, and screamed.

"NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO, NOT THAT THING! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!" She scrambled to the opposite end of the room as the hologram of 714 people blossomed from the phone in a jumble of voices, the most common question being heard was "WHO? WHAT? WHY?" And the most common words were "LIKE? LOVE? HATE?"

The Smart Girl smiled evilly, pulled out her own cell phone and called the Cell Phone of Doom. Her face occupied the entire hologram, and it floated in front of the Horse Freak.

She smiled, and said in a quiet voice, "Who do you like?"

The Horse Freak screamed for the last time, her eyes rolled back in her head, and she slumped over, dead of too much stress.

The class froze again, and there was a silence. A quiet beep was heard as the Smart Girl calmly turned off the Cell Phone of Doom, and everyone reacted in the exact same way as before.

Some laughed, some cried, some poked the body, some hugged themselves, some screamed, some fainted, some fell asleep, some blinked, some stared blankly, some stared coldly, some stared stunned, some kicked the body, some puked, some just had no reaction at all (aka the Smart Girl), some - 

I guess there were only 14 of them.

The silence fell again, and the person dressed in black scurried in again and dragged away the body.

The class began to work on their assigned classwork again, and they hoped that nothing else was going to happen.

But the Smart Girl, aka the Assassin now, had another trick up her sleeve.

She opened her extremely thick Dictionary, and here's the thing: it was hollow.

And inside, there was...

Something very, very dangerous if used well... Something sharp...

It was...

The Smart Girl

A big, black, metal object... It was...

A toothbrush.

The English Teacher's teeth started to feel very very painful. The only way to stop the pain was to brush his teeth. And not only just brushing his teeth, he also had to brush his teeth with blackened uranium metal.

Why uranium? Because it's radioactive.

Why blackened? Well... He likes black...

His teeth always start to hurt when his brain implodes (figuratively), and so, he sprints out of the classroom. His students stare after him, confused, and shrug. They relax in their seats... and the English Teacher is back.

His teeth still hurt, because he had forgotten his special radioactive toothpaste. He grabbed it from the same drawer and rushed out of the classroom.

The class was silent, and one of the students, the one obsessed with Japanese death gods, said out loud, "What the fuck?"

The rest of the class agreed wholeheartedly (except for the English nerd, who hated all swearwords) and started chatting. The class became quite relaxed, but 10 minutes later...

Echoes of girly screams echoed down the hallway. The class froze. The screams got closer, and stopped in front of the doorway.

There was a monster standing there, holding the girl who had gone to the bathroom minutes earlier in its green fingers. It had a slight resemblance of the English Teacher, except for the fact that it was green, glowing slightly, and radioactive. The girl kicked and screamed, and finally the English Monster dropped her on the floor.

The English Monster's face was... disgusting, to say the least. It was green and deformed and he was foaming at the mouth, green, glowing foam.

The rest of the class started screaming, and the temporarily-kidnapped-girl's "best friend" stood up and, oddly enough, smiled evilly. She took the tube of radioactive toothpaste from the English Monster's fingers, examined it, still smiling evilly.

She found a particular spot on the tube, and squeezed it, aiming at the English Monster.

Something that wasn't green, glowing, or toothpaste shot out of the tube and hit the English Monster in the chest. The rest of the class couldn't see the blood dripping from the wound, because it was green and glowing as well, and they couldn't see what had shot out from the tube either.

It was a bullet.

The Smart Girl was the Assassin. She was disguised as the Smart Girl, but the real Smart Girl had been killed a few months ago.

But the rest of the class didn't know this, and so they watched, horrified, as the English Monster morphed back into the English Teacher, but he was...

Dead. Stone cold dead, on the floor. The English Monster seemed to have killed him and mutated his body to suit himself.

The class stared, and then all of them began to react in some way.

Some laughed, some cried, some poked the body, some hugged themselves, some screamed, some fainted, some fell asleep, some blinked, some stared blankly, some stared coldly, some stared stunned, some kicked the body, some puked, some ran out the door, some just had no reaction at all (aka the Smart Girl), some - 

I guess there were only 15 of them.

Eventually, someone dressed entirely in black came in and dragged the body out of the room, and after a few minutes the class was normal again.

But something else was going to happen... Someone else was going to die...

The Smart Girl reached under her desk and pulled out an object...

A big, metal object... Something very, very dangerous if used well... It was...

The English Teacher

She stared at it.

...It stared back.

She stared harder.

...It stared back relentlessly.

She stared, her eyes bulging and her intense glare turned on to full power.

...It didn't move its even more intense gaze.

She sighed, blinked, turning off her sizzling Look, and leaned back in her chair.

Beside her, her friend laughed very quietly but very hysterically. "I told you you'd never outstare Midna. She's too good at glaring."

"Midna is NOT good at glaring!"

A teacher's voice, "Girls, be quiet. And Wei-Wei, stop staring at that stupid picture. AGAIN."

"But - "

"No Buts," some of the immature boys giggled (yes, giggled), and the teacher closed his eyes momentarily in annoyance and repeated, "No Buts. It's a picture of a fictional character from a video game. It's not worth staring at for hours and hours and arguing over whether the fictional character is good at staring or not. Because it's fictional, and your staring at it is useless."

"But - "

"NO BUTS. I'm starting to get a annoyed now, and if you try my patience any longer, you will find yourself in big trouble."

He walked back to his desk, sat down, and sighed. His students were being very annoying and very infuriating in this particular English lesson, and he was just about at the limit.

The very same girl that was staring at the picture of the fictional character from the video game raised her hand meekly.

The teacher turned his head slowly towards her, and stared at her in half disgust, half annoyance; she cowered from his powerful gaze.

"Yes?"

His quiet, deadly voice filled the silence.

"I- I..." she stammered, squirming, "I- I need to go to the bathroom."

"THEN GO."

The teacher's voice thundered through the room, penetrating all four walls of the classroom and echoed through the open door through to the hallways of the entire school. The girl jumped up, mumbled a quick "Yes sir" and bolted out the door.

The echo of his voice died and the classroom was left in tense, uncomfortable silence once again.

The English Teacher was mad, and somebody was going to get hurt.

He opened his desk drawer, and in it gleamed...

A big, black, metal object. It was...

Welcome to our world of madness.

I think the blog title pretty much explains it all.

This blog will contain a weird story that I'm writing that is based on some real events, but most of it's not true. The English Teacher does NOT own a gun, but I feel like writing something violent, so people are going to be massacred, in this story.

If you want to be in here, then just comment.

NONE OF THIS STUFF IS TRUE.